my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
