Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
