do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Naked. naked and bneed help.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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