hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
