I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
