At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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