do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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