he puts the penis in happiness.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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