thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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