guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Farmville is her only friend.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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