ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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