Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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