Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
