You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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