just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
