We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
