I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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