look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
