we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
