I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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