Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
