I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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