I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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