I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
