if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Congratulations! We have a period
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
