So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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