what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
