I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
birth control should be required to get into college
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
