i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.