I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
