Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.

(1-810): View more from Michigan

Thanks dad.

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(847): View more from Illinois

So I'm banging this nun...

(314): View more from Missouri

Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...

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(323): View more from California

She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.

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(585): View more from New York

Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.

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These 25 Rude People Ruined Movies for Everyone Else
Read it at the TFLN blog
(541): View more from Oregon

Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.

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(512): View more from Texas

when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.

(413): View more from Massachusetts

The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.

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(614): View more from Ohio

bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina

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