The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?