so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
