Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
