well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
