someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
This house was built for laser tag.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
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I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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