I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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