Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
