the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Are we still banned from the library?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
