You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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