Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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