Just cropdusted the office
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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