I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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