You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
