six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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