I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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