I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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