You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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