please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize