Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize