new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
