The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
