Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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