i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize