you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
