brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
