I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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