Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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