Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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