Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
