my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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