giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
