I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
