My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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