Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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