I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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