mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
